The Good Hours Are Not Guaranteed

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver Every now and then, I like to drop into chronic fatigue forums. I think it's an exercise in recognizing how far I've come, practicing empathy for those still suffering, and a chance to identify new research into... Continue Reading →

A New Fork in the Path

Earlier this year, we received a final report stating that "re-occupancy is ill-advised." The thing is, we never left our home. We had recently tested for mold spores, which we later learned stemmed from damage that occurred prior to installing a new roof in 2014, seven years earlier. I believe that biotoxin illness is the... Continue Reading →

Covid Struck, But It’s Gonna Be Alright

The last two weeks have been perpetual progression of fear, mundanity, loneliness, and momentary bursts of nervous joy. Quite frankly, I'm exhausted. I wake up with the sun each morning and then anxiously wait half the day for a good morning text from across the house. Covid symptoms are neither linear nor predictable. My better... Continue Reading →

Missing Memories

Lately, I've been feeling a bit down. We're re-watching Seinfeld because it's the obvious choice when we can't decide what to watch. With each episode, I find myself verifying, "We've seen this before?" Several seasons in, I am realizing that I have absolutely no recollection of any of the content. It seems that I mentally... Continue Reading →

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Yesterday, I didn't experience any soreness in my legs all. I ascended a flight of stairs at work, as usual. I enjoyed a two mile evening walk, as usual. But one thing was notably different. I didn't stop once to rest my legs. For the first time in over 20 months, I walked further than... Continue Reading →

Lost, Orphaned, and Alone

The most challenging part of my illness is not the hair loss, skin ulcers, or constant nausea. I'm starting to come to terms with the swollen joints and the forced sabbatical from lifting, hiking and cardio. I'm okay with the fact that I'll be on heavy-duty medication for at least ten more months and, quite possibly,... Continue Reading →

Groundhog Day

I spent thirty minutes talking with my infectious disease doctor and nurse practitioner this morning. How am I progressing (or not)? What are my prospects? How does my recovery compare to similar cases? Would a different diet, more sleep, or alternative medicine help? "I don't expect you to get worse," she offered. "Gradually, over the... Continue Reading →

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