ever seeking a right-fit life
Yesterday, I didn't experience any soreness in my legs all. I ascended a flight of stairs at work, as usual. I enjoyed a two mile evening walk, as usual. But one thing was notably different. I didn't stop once to rest my legs. For the first time in over 20 months, I walked further than... Continue Reading →
On our recently trip, I felt lighter and more energized than I have in years, even though I wore huge bags under my eyes in every picture. Upon our return, the state of my health quickly returned to status quo. My boyfriend immediately suspected something environmental was to blame, hypothesizing either an allergy in our... Continue Reading →
I force a cough and it's done. The gynecologist drops a small T-shaped device on the bedside tray, its bloody tail looping into a figure eight. The petite women with blue gloves and a wide smile reminds me to call if I need anything before shutting the door behind her. I had the copper IUD... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, I got an instant message from a coworker, causally asking, "Hey, can you save me?" I agreed before inquiring what, exactly, he needed saving from. "I'm trapped," he replied, "to your right." We work in an open office plan and the sliding glass door to the conference room had gotten stuck and he couldn't... Continue Reading →
How are you doing today? Honestly. Have you taken any time to check in with yourself, to ask exactly what it is your mind, body and soul are craving? In the modern world, we're often in such a rush and bombarded by so many distractions that we fail to check in with ourselves. I hope... Continue Reading →
In December of 2017, my body begin falling apart. My physical fitness regressed substantially after two years of resistance training progress. I woke up tired and yawned constantly throughout the day, deeply offending friends and family. I struggled to stay alert at work and in conversations, and my acute sensitivity to caffeine slowly dissipated. I... Continue Reading →
Two days ago, my boyfriend swerved suddenly while driving on the freeway. My head snapped to the right to assess what had just happened. I saw other cars merging away from a black Escalade as the driver rested his elbow on the open window, pointing and lifting. I could have sworn I saw his lips... Continue Reading →
I entered 2019 with exceedingly high hopes. Health, wealth, prosperity and new beginnings were surely waiting on the other side of midnight. Though I know that January 1st is an arbitrary date, I had dreamed of leveraging its symbolism. If healthy eating, light exercise, meditation, affirmations and being proactive weren't quite enough, maybe the promise... Continue Reading →
"You, my dear, are a baffling curiosity." I have worked with a lot of doctors over the last year, but my favorite is a sweet older gentleman who has been practicing medicine for over 50 years and happens to be a good friend of my father-in-law. He treats me like a daughter, explaining that just... Continue Reading →
There is a nasty bug traveling around in my neck of the woods and, for the first time in several years, I caught it. After twelve days of soothing my fever, snot, and persistent irritability, my boyfriend began began developing symptoms. Oops. We were both gifted the full post-Christmas shebang: fever, chills, sneezing, cough, sinus... Continue Reading →
There is a Buddhist parable known as the "second arrow." If your are struck by an arrow, acknowledge and treat it, but do no allow yourself to be struck by a second arrow--the troubling thoughts and options about your pain--as this only causes further unnecessary pain. I keep looking forward to my future self. What... Continue Reading →
The most challenging part of my illness is not the hair loss, skin ulcers, or constant nausea. I'm starting to come to terms with the swollen joints and the forced sabbatical from lifting, hiking and cardio. I'm okay with the fact that I'll be on heavy-duty medication for at least ten more months and, quite possibly,... Continue Reading →
Two years ago, my parents gave my a copy of Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic for the holidays. During 2017, I read the 365 daily musings religiously, and lately I've been picking the book up again. The stoic philosophies of Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Epictetus have been hitting home especially hard this year, as everything I thought... Continue Reading →
Cancer is rampant in the world and in the media. Nearly all of us have been affected, whether personally diagnosed, supporting a loved one, or watching a friend's battle on social media. It's scary and it's disarming. And yet, it's a topic that comes up in the news and conversation. People understand, even to the... Continue Reading →
In spring 2015, I was diagnosed with valley fever and pneumonia. I was on bed rest for over a month, during which my boyfriend picked up the habit of scrunching up his forehead and saying, "I think you're losing it, dear." He would smile, kiss my forehead, and shush me as I rambled on about... Continue Reading →
existential ergonomics 
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