ever seeking a right-fit life
The other day, my boyfriend returned from his chiropractor appointment and announced that Dr. K agrees that M must be a serial killer. Let me back up. M is my sister's boyfriend. They've been together for about three years now, though living across the country during the pandemic has meant we don't see them much.... Continue Reading →
Two weeks ago, our garden began blooming. Then, one week ago, the green foliage began to recede. Today, it fully disappeared. And today, I finally discovered why. As I walked past the window overlooking the patio, I noticed a flash of movement. On closer inspection, I saw a small squirrel nibbling on a nasturtium leaf... Continue Reading →
This is the true story of Eric, a rather ordinary 40-year-old college professor who believes that mozzarella sticks constitute a balanced meal, women are more mysterious than the elusive giant squid and chain smoking over games of nightmare chess is the best way to spend an evening. Last night, Eric deviated from his normal routine. Rather... Continue Reading →
My boyfriend has joked that if I were to die, he would face his own demise within three weeks. Death from a broken heart, you ask? Nope, starvation. I've joked, that if he leaves this earth before me, I'm not going anywhere, and neither is he! Several years ago, he suggested that I would probably... Continue Reading →
One of my boyfriend's favorite bands is in town for two nights this week. Many months ago--back when I could sometimes stay up until 9pm--he bought a set of pit tickets...for both nights. Now, he's in a bit of a pickle. Should he sell the two sets of tickets and pocket the $600? Should he go... Continue Reading →
In spring 2015, I was diagnosed with valley fever and pneumonia. I was on bed rest for over a month, during which my boyfriend picked up the habit of scrunching up his forehead and saying, "I think you're losing it, dear." He would smile, kiss my forehead, and shush me as I rambled on about... Continue Reading →
Imagine a five-foot-nothing Italian with a heavy accent, oversized nose, and enough stories to ensure you always circumnavigate away from his porch if you're in a rush. His goodbyes involve kisses on the checks and finger-wagging reminders that he expects to be invited to the (eventual) wedding. This is my dear, elderly neighbor, Nico. Four... Continue Reading →
My boyfriend is a bit of a smartass. Whether pranks (like the April Fool's Day he convinced his father that Costco was closing and my mother that we were expecting), puns (which his mother refers to as two-thirds of a pun--a "P U") or miscellaneous silliness (like caressing my hair with a creepy "little hand"... Continue Reading →
It began years ago. I was ten. My parents had taken me and my brother to the children’s theatre to see Puss in Boots. It was a great show. I loved it. My mom even bought me a plush Puss with removable boots. I couldn’t have been happier, or so I thought. I ate my... Continue Reading →
I begrudgingly signed up for online dating on a Sunday. I wanted to try it so I could knock it all I wanted. Good guys are hard to come by, dating sucks and I needed an excuse to give up. Within hours of signing up, I had received dozens of messages, mostly “hii beutiful” and... Continue Reading →
My boyfriend and I recently decided to assess ways of cutting back on our spending. We don't eat out, we don't have debt, and neither of us is prone to impulse spending. Overall, we're pretty good with money. So, we did what any frugal couple in our shoes would do: we tried out cheap toilet paper.... Continue Reading →
existential ergonomics 
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