ever seeking a right-fit life
Why would a loving God create a world full of pain? I first found myself asking this question in 2014 when my cousin and my little sister's best friend (who was basically my second little sister) both passed away from cancer within a 24-hour period. Both had been diagnosed less that one year prior, and... Continue Reading →
When facing chronic illness, so many things fall by the wayside. The once perfectly manicured garden grows wild and the chain link fence rusts away to nothing. The scarlet cannas spread like wildfire and the footpath pavers crumble. And yet, there is a beauty in the wildness. There is charm in the disrepair. There is... Continue Reading →
My journal ran out of blank pages this week, so I sent my boyfriend to retrieve some things from the condo. He donned the P3 respirator and goggles, and went inside. When he emerged, he was not carrying any of the items I had requested. He found the blank moleskin notebooks I collect each Christmas,... Continue Reading →
You will fall in love. You will see the best of that person. You will see them at their worst. And you will decide that you want both. You will let that love burn and melt away the walls you have built up around your heart. You will rediscover its warmth, its comfort. Love is... Continue Reading →
Time rages like a river, rushing by, offering momentary glimpses into the truth of reality. The days pass by in steady succession, marching towards some yet-unknown destination. I have spent the last several years coasting along the ebb and flow of some evasive ailment. I've spent portions of the journey violently kicking and other stretches... Continue Reading →
As flat palms and extended fingers are pressed into an assortment of mats and as shins are carefully balanced on triceps, I remain crumpled at angles—tiny grid marks forming on my forehead as the smell of 5-year-old rubber wafts up my nose, trying to steal my attention. I am learning, ever so slowly, to listen... Continue Reading →
Popular advice states that we should refrain from comparing ourselves to others, instead focusing our discerning eyes on who we are currently versus who we were before. Generally speaking, we make strides forward. We fall in love, get the promotion, become more spiritual, achieve a new personal best and learn an important lesson along the... Continue Reading →
"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." — Marcus Aurelius Yesterday, we went on our evening walk and discovered a two-day old gosling that had been abandoned by it's family. After following it around for over an hour, observing a man sic his dog on... Continue Reading →
How are you doing today? Honestly. Have you taken any time to check in with yourself, to ask exactly what it is your mind, body and soul are craving? In the modern world, we're often in such a rush and bombarded by so many distractions that we fail to check in with ourselves. I hope... Continue Reading →
I entered 2019 with exceedingly high hopes. Health, wealth, prosperity and new beginnings were surely waiting on the other side of midnight. Though I know that January 1st is an arbitrary date, I had dreamed of leveraging its symbolism. If healthy eating, light exercise, meditation, affirmations and being proactive weren't quite enough, maybe the promise... Continue Reading →
I'm the person who gets misty eyed in nature documentaries when the predator captures its prey. The shark eats the penguin, who eats small fish, who in turn eat the algae. When the shark dies, its body will decay and its nutrients will be adsorbed by the algae. It's horrific and devastating, and it's, quite... Continue Reading →
There is a nasty bug traveling around in my neck of the woods and, for the first time in several years, I caught it. After twelve days of soothing my fever, snot, and persistent irritability, my boyfriend began began developing symptoms. Oops. We were both gifted the full post-Christmas shebang: fever, chills, sneezing, cough, sinus... Continue Reading →
The year is 2018, and it's been a rough one. The last 300-some-odd days have been filled with debilitating illness, medications that exacerbate the existing symptoms, false allegations that could have landed me in federal prison, no action being taken against the true criminal in my workplace, the lost of my best friend over behaviors... Continue Reading →
How do you to live life to the fullest when your health limits everything you do? How do you cope with waiting for some relief when, in reality, there's no reprieve in sight? There are no easy answers to these questions. The mounting unknowns become overwhelming as symptoms worsen in spite of rest, medication, and... Continue Reading →
In my early twenties, I developed the habit of drafting up little love notes on particularly lonely days, leaving them tucked inside library books and waiting on park benches. I never stuck around long enough to see the recipients, but I always felt so much happier and more connected after my secretive love bombs. Maybe... Continue Reading →
existential ergonomics 
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