sustainable systems & storytelling
Five years ago, I stumbled across a news article. A teenage boy in some distant rural town had been bullied relentlessly for years and couldn't take it anymore. One day, he took his dad's rifle off to a far corner of their property and took his own life. I didn't know that young man and... Continue Reading →
My boyfriend ventured to our local farmer's market to pick up our produce for the week. On this particular Saturday, the market manager called him aside to ask where I was, to make sure I was okay as I hadn't been in several weeks. I was at home, he explained, as I am at higher... Continue Reading →
The last two weeks have been perpetual progression of fear, mundanity, loneliness, and momentary bursts of nervous joy. Quite frankly, I'm exhausted. I wake up with the sun each morning and then anxiously wait half the day for a good morning text from across the house. Covid symptoms are neither linear nor predictable. My better... Continue Reading →
Lately, I've been feeling less-than-inspired to sit down and write. Though I start each day scribbling into a journal, the ideas haven't been effortlessly evolving into ideas worthy of being shared. An old acquaintance made a series of poor choices and somehow qualified for state-funded assistance; I am infuriated. My work contract promised a raise... Continue Reading →
My boyfriend and I recently returned from our summer vacation, the first either of us has taken in many years. We visited Seattle, Portland, and several cities in-between. We came home with countless bug bites, a few souvenirs, and lots of special memories. Though the entire trip was spent on-the-go, I had just enough time... Continue Reading →
I walked outside and instantly squealed. Two miniature ground squirrels, each less than two inches long, peeked their tiny heads out of the expansive den outside our front door. The next day, there were eight small creatures; the day after that, twelve. The three proud mamas--Squeak, Blossom and Sprawly--are doing their best to feed thier... Continue Reading →
On the dating profile where I met my now-boyfriend, I responded "maybe someday" to the kids question. I wasn't one of those girls who carried around dolls as a child, feeding the imaginary baby and then putting it to bed. As I got older, I was terrified by the responsibility of carrying and caring for... Continue Reading →
Last weekend, my boyfriend and I visited a local indie theater for a 20th anniversary showing of Fight Club. The movie is brilliant, disturbing and complex. Every time I watch it, my mind starts spinning and doesn't slow for days. There is so much nuanced commentary in the film, from societal value systems and consumerism,... Continue Reading →
What does your morning routine look like? How much of each day do you spend getting ready, glued to your office chair or complaining to friends? Time is your most valuable resource. Unlike any other resource, you are always spending time. Everything you do at work or in your personal life takes time. And no... Continue Reading →
I've always been one to follow the rules. I don't jaywalk, cheat or take shortcuts. I read through the instruction manual and then carefully build the plywood furniture, one piece at a time. The internet if rife with guidelines, instructions and unsolicited advice. How do I find a job after college? What will help me... Continue Reading →
"It is such a dreary and dreadful day." The words tumbled out of middle-aged woman's mouth as two young women with the same pale face and dark hair nodded in agreement. She set down her breakfast burrito and continued, "I could hardly even drag myself out of bed this morning, even to see you." My... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, I met my hero. I left the house and my car kept pestering me with flashing lights and beeping sounds. Hey, you--your tire pressure is low, you should probably get it checked out. Hurried, frantic, and sniffling through a nasty cold, I searched for a gas station with an air pump. I found one,... Continue Reading →
My biggest fear is to disappoint people--to get a B, to give up halfway through the race, and to not fill the mold someone else has laid out for me. Frankly, it's a recipe for disaster. And yet, it is such a difficult habit to break. I'm a people-pleaser by nature, so saying "no" does... Continue Reading →
The year is 2018, and it's been a rough one. The last 300-some-odd days have been filled with debilitating illness, medications that exacerbate the existing symptoms, false allegations that could have landed me in federal prison, no action being taken against the true criminal in my workplace, the lost of my best friend over behaviors... Continue Reading →
Last week, I was browsing research articles on NCBI and NIH using the key terms dropped at my most recent medical appointments. I began by searching for "mitochondrial dysfunction" and "maximal oxygen consumption deficit," and then quickly descended ever-deeper into the rabbit hole. I ended my search on a book excerpt that has stuck with... Continue Reading →
existential ergonomics 
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