ever seeking a right-fit life
By the time I was in middle school, I had read most of the books at the school library so I began pursuing my parents' numerous bookshelves. I read The Millionaire Next Door, and wondered how many of our neighbors were secretly wealthy. I read Zig Ziglar's See You at the Top, intrigued that someone... Continue Reading →
I graduated from college in the midst of a recession. With my bachelor's degree in-hand, I moved back into my parents' house and applied to every open position within a ten-mile radius. I accepted my first offer, working for minimum wage at local bowling alley. After a year of continued applications, I was offered an... Continue Reading →
Why would a loving God create a world full of pain? I first found myself asking this question in 2014 when my cousin and my little sister's best friend (who was basically my second little sister) both passed away from cancer within a 24-hour period. Both had been diagnosed less that one year prior, and... Continue Reading →
Every now and then, I'll come across something I wrote several years ago. Sometimes the encounter is painful as I exhume forgotten memories. Other times, the words I read don't feel like my own, but rather those of someone with far more wisdom. Four years ago, I wrote about my attempt to restart yoga before... Continue Reading →
When I was eleven, I visited my grandparents at their summer beach home in California. When we stopped by the gift shop, I picked out trinkets for my parents and siblings. I didn't asked for anything for myself. Throughout my entire life, people always commented on or recalled stories of my selflessness and, for years,... Continue Reading →
The other day, I wrote a bit about my health journey, coming to the conclusion that the the good hours are not guaranteed. That idea sent my mind off on a tangent. My final destination? The $320 hairbrush I bought to commemorate beginning to feel better and starting a new job. For years, my arms felt... Continue Reading →
Last year, I attended my grandfather's funeral. He had ninety good years, always surrounded by family and beaming with laughter. At his memorial service, people shared funny stories. There was that time he performed in Laughlin with his retirement community as the Andrews Sisters, and the three elderly men in dresses waltzed through the casino.... Continue Reading →
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver Every now and then, I like to drop into chronic fatigue forums. I think it's an exercise in recognizing how far I've come, practicing empathy for those still suffering, and a chance to identify new research into... Continue Reading →
Today, I woke up with blocked meibomian glands. Meibomian glands are lipid glands along the rims of the eyelid inside the tarsal plate, which produce an oily substance to prevent the evaporation of tears. Mine are selectively operational. The fatty substance blocks the exit, creating small cysts, leaving my eyes red and dry. This is... Continue Reading →
When I was first diagnosed with valley fever in 2015, the radiologist noted mild scoliosis of the thoracic spine along with the fungal and bacterial infections filling my lungs. After eight years on the back burner, yesterday I finally saw someone about it. The practitioner is a chiropractor, though he doesn't adhere to the "snap,... Continue Reading →
When we watch people make small choices, like snacking on some carrots instead of a candy bar, the difference of a few hundred calories doesn't seem to matter much. In the moment, that's true. However, as days turn to weeks and weeks to months and months to years, those tiny habitual choices compound. The same... Continue Reading →
In my early-twenties, I would spend each December crafting a long list of goals for the coming year. At a bare minimum, it involved performing 100 random acts of kindness, reading 52 books, trying 26 new recipes, and learning 3 new skills. It was my resolution, each year, to keep learning and continue growing. At... Continue Reading →
On a recent trip to the grocery store, I heard a strange creak each time we rolled to a stop. I looked back, turned to my boyfriend and asked, "What's in the truck?" I knew there is a spare tire, a box of old computer parts for the electronics recycle, and two P-100 masks and... Continue Reading →
Fifteen years ago, my boyfriend died. He had been running a fever, but didn't have health insurance. His father, a physician, advised him not to go to the hospital, so my boyfriend and his then-girlfriend waited three days, until he fell unconscious, to seek help. An infection had spread to his brain, they soon learned.... Continue Reading →
For the last twelve years, I've spent late-December pondering the successes and lessons of the past year, along with what my hopes are for the year to come. It has always been a powerful and grounding exercise, whether the year has been incredible or a nightmare. A word can't be "broken" in the way that... Continue Reading →
existential ergonomics 
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