ever seeking a right-fit life
"You've become a shell of the person you used to be." The words stung as they spilled from my best friend's mouth. They were the last words she ever said to me. The year was 2018 and, in retrospect, the worst year of my illness. I had recently left her bachelorette party around sunset because... Continue Reading →
I was a late-bloomer and didn't begin dating until I was out of college. Throughout my teens and twenties, I collected advice from the likes of John Gottman and Leo Buscalgia, as my parents must have been under the impression that if they didn't mention dating, it would never happen. I was once a die-hard... Continue Reading →
Within the first few months of dating, my boyfriend and I were discussing growing up in Valley of the Sun, when I happened to mention the magical day in December 1998 when it snowed in downtown Phoenix. I had just exited the Children's Theater with my family and was running up and down the steps... Continue Reading →
For the last nine years, my partner and I have talked about, one day, being married. The idea is a simple, low-cost backyard ceremony with just our parents. I can wear wedding dress that's been worn by numerous generations in my family. My to-be husband can place his grandmother's modest ring on my finger. And... Continue Reading →
As an early-twenty-something, I discovered and became obsessed with a blog called The Art of Manliness. Not because I fancied becoming a man, but because the articles taught practical skills like how to open a stuck jar lid, how to firmly say no without coming off like a jerk, and how to read a topographic... Continue Reading →
When I was in my early teens, my mom told me that how a young man treats his mother and service staff can serve as an indicator for how he will treat his partner. The gist was, when I was ready to start dating, I should seek out a kind and respectful man. Eventually, I... Continue Reading →
Every time my boyfriend visits the farmer's market, the ladies beneath the customer service tent wave and shout, "When is she coming back? We miss her. Don't forget to remind your honey that she looks like Claire Danes!" Prior to the pandemic, we had been going every Saturday morning for years. The workers supporting the... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, I received a call at 8am. It was my mother, calling to let me know that my aunt, Virgina, had passed. Eleven weeks ago, Virg was diagnosed with brain cancer after a fall. Eleven weeks ago, doctors said she had a few days left to live. As devout lifelong Catholic, I like to think... Continue Reading →
You will fall in love. You will see the best of that person. You will see them at their worst. And you will decide that you want both. You will let that love burn and melt away the walls you have built up around your heart. You will rediscover its warmth, its comfort. Love is... Continue Reading →
I held my two-month-old niece for the first time yesterday, as her parents sat down for their first meal together sans baby since the birth. I heard a soft cooing as I bounced the ten-pound, chunky-soft human in my arms and walked her around the room to satiate her curious brown eyes. Within her line... Continue Reading →
Recently, I have been reminiscing about old friends that I have fallen out of contact with since leaving social media. After a few quick internet searches, I discovered that several happily married mommies had fallen in love, gotten married, had a child, then gone through a divorce, and won sole custody of the toddler, all... Continue Reading →
Later this month, I will celebrate seven years with the love of my life. If feels like just last month I was nervously chatting with him on the phone for the first time. As with life in general, our time together has been filled with challenges, shared victories, and everything in between. What has remained... Continue Reading →
Last week, the while-haired woman behind us at Costco noticed a bag of macadamia nuts in our cart and gasped, asking where I'd found them. My boyfriend immediately offered to go grab her a bag and I smiled to myself, still proud of my catch six years in. Once I'd checked out, I explained to... Continue Reading →
A dear friend is trudging through the perilous minefield that this mid-life dating and spills over with emotion every time we meet. The tears, laughter and longing are always followed by a smile and the phrase, “You two give me hope.” After spending over 2,000 days attached at the hip, my boyfriend and I are... Continue Reading →
At the start of the year, my boyfriend proposed an idea to save some extra fun money. Each time either of receive a $5 bill, we drop it into a glass mason jar. Less than three months in, we've collected over $500. Out of one hundred $5 bills, I've contributed approximately five. Each evening, we... Continue Reading →
existential ergonomics 
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