The Birthday Bidet

With my boyfriend's birthday fast-approaching, I've been begging him to just tell me what he wants.With each holiday, he insists that he doesn't need anything. I proceed to buy him something really fun or highly practical, and he always thanks me for my thoughtfulness as he insists that we don't need to be spending money... Continue Reading →

Death and Taxidermy

My boyfriend has joked that if I were to die, he would face his own demise within three weeks. Death from a broken heart, you ask? Nope, starvation. I've joked, that if he leaves this earth before me, I'm not going anywhere, and neither is he! Several years ago, he suggested that I would probably... Continue Reading →

Let’s Get You A Hare

The other day, my distracted mind mind was quickly drawn back into conversation when my boyfriend nonchalantly said, "let's get you a hare." After years of back-and-forth about the inhumanity of leaving an oversized mountain dog alone in a small house without a backyard for 10 hours a day, the possibility of him suffering through... Continue Reading →

Sammy The Saboteur

In spring 2015, I was diagnosed with valley fever and pneumonia. I was on bed rest for over a month, during which my boyfriend picked up the habit of scrunching up his forehead and saying, "I think you're losing it, dear." He would smile, kiss my forehead, and shush me as I rambled on about... Continue Reading →

Words Are Freaking Hard, Man

What do you call a perpetual state of brain fog? Because that's what I've been dealing with for several months (or the last four years, if you ask my boyfriend). It's a good thing that I have a sense of humor because the hubby has begun documenting my grammatical snafus on the vacated "Life Goals"... Continue Reading →

The Very Baad Men!

Imagine a five-foot-nothing Italian with a heavy accent, oversized nose, and enough stories to ensure you always circumnavigate away from his porch if you're in a rush. His goodbyes involve kisses on the checks and finger-wagging reminders that he expects to be invited to the (eventual) wedding. This is my dear, elderly neighbor, Nico. Four... Continue Reading →

But I Haven’t Proposed Yet!

My boyfriend is a bit of a smartass. Whether pranks (like the April Fool's Day he convinced his father that Costco was closing and my mother that we were expecting), puns (which his mother refers to as two-thirds of a pun--a "P U") or miscellaneous silliness (like caressing my hair with a creepy "little hand"... Continue Reading →

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