Five years ago, a coworker accused me of selling company trade secrets. While the investigation ultimately proved he had been the culprit, I didn’t walk away unscathed.
That’s when my naivety began to unravel. My belief that all people are inherently good–a belief that I’d held true for 30 years–shattered into a million pieces, piercing my heart.
One of my symptoms is the disappearance of my inner monologue. No more worry, no more random recollections, and no more brilliant ideas. My mind is a still pond until someone else tosses in a rock.
Earlier today, my boyfriend start skipping stones through my mind, which rippled out and touched that old memory. He was talking about good and evil. And that man was the closest encounter I’ve had to pure evil.
On the micro scale, evil always wins, he explained.
In one-on-one interactions, the altruist will always be defeated by the cheater. The latter will do anything necessary to achieve their objective, even if that involves harming their competitor.
My face fell. I’m the altruist. After having my heart broken at 30, I was able to look back and recognize that it wasn’t the first time I’d been lied to, taken advantage of, and abused. While I knew that he was right, my spirit crumpled all over again. I’ve shrunk my social circle but, beyond that, I can’t change who I am.
However, he continued, at the macro level, evil always consumes itself. And goodness always triumphs.
The greedy, self-serving types tend to look out for their own best interests. They don’t play well with others. When it comes time to join forces, the bunch is overcome by manipulation, backstabbing, and sabotage. They are unable to work together.
The good folks, on the other hand, are guided by their moral compass and join hands over shared morality, ethics, and goodwill. They are willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. They don’t need to take an offensive position against evil. They simply need to stand back and stand up for what’s right as the future unfurls before them.
When the world seems overrun with chaos, madness, and fear, I will try to remind myself of this: Goodness always prevails.
I’m having trouble beckoning those old history lessons right now, but this idea feels true to me. What do you think?
existential ergonomics 
Yep, I think good wins. It reminds me of the Gandhi quote, “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.”
But I have my own eye-opening stories of the bad stuff people can do. What’s surprised me when I’ve faced it, is that often the liars REALLY believe what they are saying or that they have to do it. I think I grew up with a very black/white way of thinking of bad guys. They were like the people in the movies who set out to do bad things so I was unprepared for the more complex version I’ve faced in real life.
I’m sorry for what you went through but I’m glad it hasn’t changed you as an altruist. And I think you are good at surrounding yourself with good. When we don’t change even when bad things have happened to us – it’s the first proof that good wins… 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 5 people
Thanks for sharing that Gandhi, as I had forgotten about it and it really hits home. Yes, truth and love always win. I think looking backwards and seeing that makes it easier to look toward the future with hope that, once again, goodness will triumph over evil.
I think you and I both had sheltered childhoods, surrounded by only kind people, and looked over by a loving God. I had the same black/white view of villains, and it took me forever to accept that anyone could intentionally harm another. I still can’t wrap my head around it, though I have come to recognize it when I see it. Ooh, you’re final line is pure gold! “When we don’t change even when bad things have happened to us – it’s the first proof that good wins…” YES!! ❤️❤️
LikeLiked by 2 people
I thought the same thing about our sheltered childhoods as I typed my comment. Yes!
And I love that you are proving that last line, Erin! 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t have a sheltered childhood, but I was still incredibly naive and hopeful about the world, wanting it to be the way I saw it in my heart. My youngest granddaughter is that way too, and it is very difficult to face the reality that people won’t be helping her in turn the way she had in her heart to help someone else.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so difficult to face that reality, isn’t it, Tamara? And it must be hard watching your granddaughter navigate life in her naivety. At what point do you share that not all people are kind? Or do you let her figure it out for herself? Seeing the world as beautiful and filled with love and goodness is both a gift and a curse… everything is beautiful, yet it often hurts.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Indeed, it’s difficult, but my daughter and I both feel if we speak gently to her and lovingly explain some of these things, she will make her own decisions. That conversation was precipitated because she had told me that she wanted to do a very generous thing for a friend of hers when they grow up, and I spoke with her about how some people are users and toss people aside when they have no more to give. It was eye opening for her to learn that not everyone thinks how she does, nor has her generous heart. I know that she will make her share of mistakes, as we all do, but if we can her her become more discerning without becoming hardened, then I’d call that a success.
LikeLike
That story of your former colleague is just horrible. I’m sorry, Erin.
I’m not sure how I feel about what your boyfriend says. I think it depends on the situation. But I do agree that good ultimately wins in the end – for a variety of reasons, including evil consuming itself ultimately and just believing in goodness itself.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thanks, Ab–I think it was one of those lessons life was trying to teaching me that wouldn’t seem to stick, but I finally figured it out. Not everyone can be trusted, not everyone is a helper.
I think you’re right that it depends of the situation. While the liars and manipulators may try bending the rules, they may be caught and suffer the consequences. Either way, I do being the good wins in the end. I love what you say about just believing in goodness itself providing a boost. Yes! That’s something we can all do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Golly….I’m glad I read Wynne’s comment first. I was going to offer the same thought…how shocked I’ve been in life to see how liars can manipulate and navigate…. all with BELIEF in their own web of distortions. Oh my goodness, yes. It makes me feel twinges of empathy…(twinges, I’m not a saint) because the dysfunction is so apparent…mental health issues driving the destructive, self-serving madness. I also love what Ab said — ‘evil consuming itself’ in the end. ❤
LikeLiked by 4 people
While I’ve accepted the nature of some people, I still am shocked every time I encounter misdeeds. I have seen firsthand, though, how they believe their lies… and thus are able to convince everyone around them. I also feel bad, to some extent (I’m also not a saint 😂), but I can’t help but wonder how much of the dysfunction might be remedied if the sufferer recognized and addressed it. Paired with the twinge of empathy, I want to shake some people and ask what they are thinking…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh gosh, yes! Recognizing and addressing…I’m with you but that’s a deep dive some are incapable of…😔
LikeLike
There’s some old saying about there being two sides to every coin Erin, clearly a way that was meant to define balance and that we live in a world with both positive and negative aspects. Honestly, nothing surprises me at this point in life and sadly that includes the story you shared of the coworker. I have encountered bald-faced direct lies so I understand the hurt and dismay. Most of the time, but often it takes a long time, the lies have been proven false and the person speaking them has been revealed for what they really are. I keep in mind though that the possibility always exists that I will meet another moment/person who chooses to follow a different value system than I do. I can’t control them, only myself. It never makes it easier, but I simply remind myself that while humans have similarities they also have differences in character and I just happen to come into contact with one who has no concept of morals and honesty.
You have been fortunate to surround yourself with good. The only thing I can add is healthy caution never hurts and may give you a bit of preparedness in the future.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, Deb, I agree with everything you shared. “I can’t control them, only myself. ” I’ve picked up that bit of wisdom, as well, though it’s still hard. I think the best thing we can aim for is to surround ourselves with good people and practice that healthy caution… to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, as they say.
LikeLike