Your Beautiful, Broken Body

I’ve been on treatment for mold illness for nearly two years. Leaving the toxic environment shifted my health in a positive direction, but the $2,000 per month cocktail of compounded pharmaceuticals and supplements has barely moved the needle. Thus, my partner and I will soon be starting a 6-month regimen of high-dose Sporanox (itraconazole), a strong anti-fungal medication.

The binder we have been on for the last two years pulls biotoxins out from the gut, but can’t touch those that have disseminated to elsewhere in the body. Theoretically, the anti-fungal should wipe out everything, everywhere.

It’s a mild, yet brutal treatment. I was on flucanazole for almost a year after a PET scan noted masses all over my body and my valley fever titers skyrocketed. My joints aches, my hair fell out, and I felt like crap. Everyone who saw me asked if I was on chemotherapy. When I shook my head, I was met with looks of disgust, as if I were faking cancer to gain pity points.

But, today, we know the root cause of the problem–systemic fungal infection due to prolonged toxic mold exposure. The published research suggests that flucanazole is not powerful enough, nor is the “normal” does of high-powered itraconazole. A double-dose of “the good stuff” may be the final solution.

And so I’m willing to go through that hellscape once more to see if I can’t jump back in time and reclaim my healthy body.

I’ve talked extensively about how the medical system failed me. Every new lead and every ameliorating treatment was discovered and pushed by myself or my partner. We are the sole reason we are functioning.

It was not our fault that we were sick, but we quickly realized that was our responsibility to figure out how to restore wellness. And that’s exactly what we’ve been working toward.

If there is anything I’ve learned over the last decade, it’s that modern medicine keeps trying to fool us into thinking that our own body is trying to kill us, and that the pharmaceutical industry has the answer. They offer “cures” for lowering your cholesterol, regulating blood pressure, and treating autoimmune disease. Instead of encouraging us to love and tend to our bodies, they want us to fear them so that they can step in and offer us the poisons that actually kill us

I see the irony in celebrating a new pharmaceutical treatment, and then bashing the same. Bear with me for a moment. This is a means to an end–not the end.

You see, your body is wonderful. It’s the environment it can’t tolerate.

It’s the processed foods, the produce coated in weed-killers, the heavy smog, chemical-laden personal care products, harsh cleaning solutions, and the mold growing in the walls. Our bodies weren’t built for this industrial world. Eventually, we will all break, if we’re not mindful. Some of us may be more sensitive than others.

Most of “health” relies on our ability to truly connect with and embody our physical bodies. This means showing it appreciation and listening and responding to symptoms as if they’re messengers, not pathology. Displacing responsibility for your health on to someone else is a guaranteed path to illness.

No one can, or should be expected to, take better care of your health than you. We all must be accountable for ourselves.

The world is a beautiful place–it really is–and we are lucky to have a place in it. Though sickness and health, life is a gift.

Maximize your health, maximize your experience. Maximize your experience, maximize your impact.

We’ve got to stop waiting for other people to fix us. And this extends beyond just health and wellness.

“I felt like someone had given me my life back.”

If the limited research holds true for me, the Sporanox treatment will act as a hard reboot for my body. When the inflammogen is removed, my body will be free. Like this reviewer, I’ve been told be several specialists that “mold does not colonize in the body.” Yet, not a single one of them could tell me what the alternative might be. They didn’t know, but wouldn’t admit it.

Once the mold lingering in my body has been annihilated, the body will become less sensitive to environmental toxins. And my lifelong habits of healthy diet and exercise will, once again, be enough to to oil this beautiful biochemical machine in which my soul resides and get it back up and running at full force.

Onward and upward!

12 thoughts on “Your Beautiful, Broken Body

  1. Oh my God, Erin, this is simply horrendous. I really appreciate you sharing so much that you’ve learned from this arduous journey you’re on to regain your health about steps we can all take to be more in control of our bodies and our health. Gosh, I hope your treatments go well and bring steady and permanent relief.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jane. 🙏 It really has been arduous journey, but sharing what I’ve learned has been tremendously therapeutic. It took so long for me to find answers and I feel compelled to share, just in case someone reading is going through something similar and might discover some clues in my story. I’m feeling hopeful with this treatment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Onward and upward, indeed. The amount of research, discovery, and personal advocacy you’ve done is amazing. The treatment sounds tough but hopefully it’s the necessary step to give you back a decent baseline of health. Life is a gift indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Wynne! 💕 Looking back, it’s a quite disappointing that sick patients should be the ones researching and proposing treatments, but that seems to be the state of medicine today. Yet, the other side of the coin is the internet gives us that power. I’m feeling very optimistic about the treatment!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Erin, this sounds so awful what you have to go through and are going through. Your perseverance and self advocacy are inspiring. I do agree that while it shouldn’t be this way, we all have a role to play in our own health and what we choose to consume. I hope your case will bring a satisfactory and successful outcome for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ab! 💕 It’s a blessing and curse, but my memory is so poor that it’s all water under the bridge now, so I’m just focused on moving forward. I’m also hoping for a positive outcome.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, Erin. “It’s a mild yet brutal treatment.” Those were sobering words to read. Sending healing thoughts your way, as always. I wish I could do more, but I love your hopeful tone and what I know for sure is that you are resilient…capital “R”. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yay! I’m not a bit fan of medications either, but sometimes you just need to take some! Prayers for your recovery!


Comments are closed.

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: