Adieu, Farewell, and Goodbye For Now

Today, we’re leaving our home. And we may not return. We’re taking a week’s worth of clothing, my work laptop, and basic toiletries. Nothing else. Including the computer on which I am writing.

Everything is overwhelming and in flux right now. It feels like I’m trapped in a nightmare, but too drugged up to realize it.

Last week, my grandfather broke his hip a few days after moving into a memory care facility. Supposedly. he was wandering down the hallway at 3am playing with a beach ball. Which would not surprise anyone who knows him. He’s now in hospice, surrounded by family. When trying to pull out memories to share as I sat at his bedside, little came to mind. I am so tired can’t seem to process things. I’m heartbroken, but I don’t think it’s really hit me yet.

Two weeks ago, my parents’ cat was diagnosed with lung cancer. Sebastian is about 11 years old, and oscillates between lovey-dovey and curmudgeonly. Way back in 2011, he and his furry brothers were Freshly Pressed. Eleven years later, I’m still a sucker for animals and hate to see them suffer.

Last Thursday, we talked to our doctor and are being put on pure cholestyramine, a bile acid sequestrant that can pull biotoxins out of the body. We had to halt EDTA and VIP treatment due to the discovery of more mold, so hopefully we can restart those once in a safer environment. Currently, my partner and I are on $900+ worth of prescriptions a month, each, none of which is covered by insurance (we need pure, compounded version because we react to dyes and aspartame).

Today, we’re moving into my in-law’s house. They are not happy with the inconvenience, so our welcome may be short-lived. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

Next week, I’m hosting an audit at work and am terrified because my brain is not firing on all cylinders. I don’t have a strong sense of job security and I can’t afford to lose health insurance or the income to pay for those things not covered by health insurance.

Next Monday, a remediation company that specialists in CIRS patients and those especially sensitive to mold is coming out to assess the damage and give a quote. Or, alternatively, tell us it’s not safe to return. We hear a dripping sound in a hallway ceiling and the HVAC closet smells incredibly musty. When scrubbing the house down with sporicidin, we discovered black mold growing under the slats of our oak bed frame. Last night may have been our last night ever staying here. n Monday, we’ll also be speaking to an highly recommended personal injury attorney specializing in mold. A faulty roof installation 10+ years ago led to a wall filled with toxic mold, which has caused my partner and I permanent health damage. Who’s responsible? We’re hoping someone can be held liable.

Next Friday, we’re talking to an environmental health consultant to determine which, if any of our possessions, we can keep. He will also help us determine whether our home can be made safe and, if we can’t afford to leave or completely remodel, how to work with the situation.

Wishing you all the best in my absence!