Hey, Can You Save Me?

Yesterday, I got an instant message from a coworker, causally asking, “Hey, can you save me?” I agreed before inquiring what, exactly, he needed saving from. “I’m trapped,” he replied, “to your right.” We work in an open office plan and the sliding glass door to the conference room had gotten stuck and he couldn’t escape. I walked over and tugged lightly on the door before it smoothly flew to the side.

As a child, I loved the book “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” and haven’t stopped thinking about it across the last few days. My symptoms have been worsening significantly and recent test results show abnormal cervical cells and signs of early-onset menopause, along with reactivation of disseminated valley fever in the skin and HSV-1 in the eyes. The steep peaks of optimism stand in contrast to the deep valleys of reality.

I feel as if I, too, am trapped behind a stubborn sheet of glass. And, yet, I don’t quite have the courage to ask, “Hey, can you save me?” I shut out nearly everyone along my quest to healing, intent to not make mountains out of molehills, but I’m beginning to realize I’ve been staring out at the daunting Rockies all along, refusing to actually acknowledge what was there. I don’t have the proper angle or strength to pry open my transparent cage, but maybe someone else does. Perhaps all I need to do is work up the courage to ask, “Hey, can you save me?”

14 thoughts on “Hey, Can You Save Me?

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  1. My biggest professional problem has always been knowing when to ask for help. I’m much better about it than I used to be, however, it’s still a scary thing to do — particularly if you don’t want to admit to needing help. That said, it’s gratifying at times to get help from others, particularly if you’re always helping others yourself.

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    1. Yes, I completely agree. Asking for help professionally is particularly hard because people in general (or perhaps just me) build these elaborate narratives around incompetency. “I should know this and asking verifies that I’m not qualified for the job, which may lead to my being fired…” In reality, the questions we ask actually represent gaps in training, systemic deficiencies, etc. and signal that we recognize the gap in our understanding and are willing to humble ourselves by requesting help in bridging that gap. I am gradually (very gradually) learning that asking for help is a good thing, in all areas of life.

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  2. Are you connected to any kind of group who might lift your energies at this moment and help you receive comfort from The Higher [exchange for your own preferred term]? I was struggling with depression and anxiety from 1999-2006, but I actually did not seek out any kind of supportive group out until *after* I was hospitalized, with severe anxiety and other mental nastiness and being fed all kinds of drugs.

    What will give each of us energy and hope varies. My mother who is a two-time cancer survivor said to me once that in her first bout with cancer it did help to be with other patients in some organised support-groups, later she felt it took her energy because all people could talk about was their illnesses. In the psych ward it was much the same; I never really got much from the support groups organized inside the hospital although I did appreciate the initiative on part of the staff.

    What did lift me more than I could do myself was actually joining a Christian reading group. I had been part of a loosely organized ‘spiritual’ group before, for people who felt they might have had Kundalini risings (if you are familiar with that phenomenon – if not, no matter – the point is that it was a support group). Anyway, the spiritual group was not bad but ‘too loose’ – people came and went. But also, for me at least, it did not have a framework of interpretation that we could all lean on in unison. Some were spiritual shoppers, some were practitioners of various healing methods, some were Buddhists, etc.

    With the Christian group it was settled – it was about Christianity and the support we can rely on from God and Jesus, as we go through the stages of life which inevitably will contain some pain and sorrow. I was never much into Christianity as such, but it appealed to me at the time and still does. It also helped that it was a more eclectic group led by a priest who was open to Buddhism and other perspectives, which were discussed. That resonated with me. I even was invited to do a talk about Celtic Christianity (and John O’Donohue) for the others, which also helped me to distill lessons from that perspective and use them in my own healing process.

    I didn’t get cured, obviously, by participating in the group. That was something I did on my own through an extensive regime of cognitive therapy which I had to do myself because I had no money to pay for therapy, except what they granted at the hospital (which was limited to 8 or 10 sessions, I think – then drugs). I did feel and still do that I was comforted and supported, though, at a time when I sorely needed it. I felt hope. Both from the people there and, I believe, from God.

    Our teacher had a ‘Wreath of Christ’ which symbolized various stages and experiences in life, which Jesus also went through (albeit in a very compressed time) – I used that a lot when I prayed myself, as a physical anchor for my focus on being open to God and God’s help. Unfortunately, it is not widely available outside of Scandinavia, it seems, but perhaps the concept is of value to read more about. Here is an article I found: https://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2017/03/05/wreath-of-christ-2/

    But long story short: If you don’t already have some kind of support group that gives you energy, I believe now is the time to find one.

    Let us know how it all goes …

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    1. Thank you for this. I’m currently part of a few groups (intellectual discussion, yoga studio, Buddhist medication class), but none support a true sense of community, which is something I could really benefit from right now. 5-10 years ago, I was part of a mastermind group, writer’s group, blogging communities, yoga teacher training course, and an amazing yoga studio (which has since shut down)… I know exactly what it feels like to feel like you have a loving community bolstering me up, support my wildest endeavors and provide the energy and inspiration to keep moving forward. I’m going to make that my goal for the next month–to join some kind of community where I can rekindle that sense of being a part of something bigger, and supported in the process. Thank you again for your comment–I think, deep down, I knew this; on some level, I’ve been trying to channel me “well self”–but your comment really captured what I needed to hear, quite straightforwardly.

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  3. Squeeze yourself tightly and tell yourself
    how much you love yourself because
    you are very special!
    Every thought, every step, every breath brings you closer
    to goals whether hidden or obvious that are meant for you alone.
    Your special talents have glimpsed a world filled with happiness
    and wellbeing. You are on your way!

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  4. “Can you save me?” Isn’t it what we all crave at times? To have someone come in and rescue us. It’s such a human experience type thing. At least I know there have been some very dark times in my life when I wanted to be taken away in the night, to be saved from all the pain I was feeling. I actually stumbled into hypnotherapy as a kind of deep inner healing work that goes down smooth and easy. And discovered it as a magical way to save myself. (Not to say that I don’t work with doctors when needed, because I absolutely do – but they only know what they know). Thanks for popping by my blog.

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