How are you doing today? Honestly.
Have you taken any time to check in with yourself, to ask exactly what it is your mind, body and soul are craving? In the modern world, we’re often in such a rush and bombarded by so many distractions that we fail to check in with ourselves. I hope that sometime today you’ll take a moment or two to do just that.
Perhaps life has been dragging you down lately. Maybe you’re experiencing suffering, sadness or seemingly insurmountable challenges. I just want to take a moment to remind you are exactly where you’re meant to be, things will get better and you are doing a great job.
The last three weeks have been a roller coaster. I went from feeling poorly to feeling great! And then back to feeling poorly, and now even worse. Cue the nausea, liver pain, migraines, vomiting and debilitating fatigue which, in turn, invite back the terrifying fears that two weeks of relief shoved out of sight.
There is no denying it: there is something critically wrong with my body.
Yet, in spite of the discomfort, I would tell you without hesitation that I am okay. I’ve run into three walls today, knocked my lunch on the floor and continued “drinking” my tea as realized it was dripping down my shirt. I’m barely functioning as I wander through the fog, but it’s still been a good day. My boyfriend went to great lengths to make me smile as I struggled to get moving this morning. A women let me go ahead of her at the grocery store since I was only buying an apple. My doctor called me on her day off and offered to squeeze me in next week. I finally made time to respond to an email from an old friend and then received an email from my favorite college professors out of the blue after six years without contact. Tonight, I’ll visit with my aunt and my family before calling it an early night.
The moments were small and perhaps insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but they were enough. I am alive and I am loved, both of which are invaluable gifts. Today, the minuscule moments of joy are all I have to cling to, but they are enough.
I hope that today you take time to nourish your body and your soul, taking just one action to practice self-care or observing just one moment that sparks joy. We have a limited amount of time in our lives, so it’s foolish to waste a single minute lost in worry, anxiety or unhappiness. Happiness is a habit–a choice that we must make over and over again, day after day. We must make that decision even on the worst of days, maybe especially so on the days where we would rather climb back into bed.
How are you doing today, really? And what can I offer to, just maybe, add a small moment of joy to your day? Sending a big hug your way, my friend. I hope, for the moment, that will be enough.
existential ergonomics 
It wasn’t one of the worst days, thank you. I took your advice before I read it and bought a 25 dollar red wine on a whim to celebrate I had 3 new customers last week. Or … something. We enjoyed it regardless of the reason, though.
I recognize very much some of the conclusions you have reached from my own period of debilitating illness 15 years ago. Doesn’t make it go away, though – neither the nausea nor the fear that crops up now and again. But it does make it easier, yes. And so I am glad for you, but also sad – that things are where they are and the path forward seems misty at best.
But your post made me feel that I had done the right thing today. And also other things, like taking some hours off to work on a special project (a travel website) when dishes and finances and helping with toddlers were very much in competition, again, for my attention. Sort of a post-fact confirmation, and for that I thank you.
There is a grand and mysterious search still ahead of you, to find out why your body is ill. But I am pleased to note that your spirit is very much alive and well.
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I’m so pleased to hear that you took some time today for you–to celebrate, smile, spend time with loved one and momentarily prioritize a fun project over the looming responsibilities. All of the above are so good for the soul, and .
The way I see it, one day I’ll write a book about my life; whether or not it’s ever published, that story will be filled with tough challenges, deep fulfillment, endless love, good friends and funny anecdotes. Whenever my days prove particularly difficult, I just remind myself, one day this is going to make for one hell of a story!
I’m realizing with more and more acuity that THIS is all we’ve got, so we might as well learn to ride the wave and make light of misfortune. Just yesterday, I dispensed some relationship advice that seems pertinent now: we need to find a balance between being proactive and being patient; we must do everything in our power to bring about the desired outcome and then we must simply wait. I’m working with some incredible doctors, fueling my body with the foods and supplements it needs, practicing self care… and coming to trust the process, learning to wait.
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Thought-provoking. We surely are too much in a rush to think about how we’re doing.
Sorry to hear you’re not doing too well.
Happiness is a choice. So true.
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Ugh, I’m so, so sorry you aren’t feeling well. It must be so frustrating to not get the consistent results one would’ve hoped for. Your ability to still be open, aware, and thankful for the small moments is nothing short of commendable. Your light still shines bright, amidst the clouds. Wishing all the good vibes for the next step, and that hopefully the right dosage/treatment is just around the corner. ❤
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Thank you so much for the kind words and understanding, dear. ❤ While more consistent results would be preferred, I'm trying to view the setback as invitations to go deeper–to quiet my mind, open my heart and simply sit with whatever may be going one. It's not always easy, but we all have a limited number of days and it doesn't benefit anyone to pout about the life's unpredictability. We all have the option–and perhaps even obligation–to keep on living as fully as humanly possible. 🙂
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