As the minutes silently transform into days and slip toward some distant eternity, I can’t help but wonder where my destiny lies. I cannot suppress questions regarding the purpose of my being here. The tasks and necessities all seem so trivial and mundane at times, yet I know that is far from the case.
I want to live as well, as deeply, and as madly as I can–until the day I die. I want to live a life of meaningful purpose. I want to wake up feeling alive and to savor that sensation for every moment filled by my paltry breath. I want to live a life worthy of remembrance.
I want to dance in times of sadness, and to lead others toward their inner truth. I want to hold you when it hurts and to listen intently when you can no longer bear your own burden. I want to live to the point of tears–both tears of immense sadness and those of rapt awe. I want to live in wonder of the incredible series of evolutionary choices that led to my existence. Was it all by chance? Or is there some divine plan that’s yet to be revealed to our naive eyes?
Either way, I believe it is our cosmic duty to the complex beauty of our potentiality to become more. We are here to recognize our gifts, develop our strengths, realize our full potential, and to blossom the person whom we have been placed here to become. Sometimes I feel as if some greater power, or perhaps even just the roulette of randomized options, picks me up by my shirt collar and drops me into arbitrary new situations. In the moment, I never understand why. What is the point of another broken heart? Why did I fail Calculus? What is with this recurring back pain? Nearly always, in retrospect, I find my answers.
Every moment of our living holds purpose and the potential for growth. It is simply a matter of recognizing our own innate power and accepting the challenge of becoming a fully realized autonomous being, as well as a representation of the human capacity for achievement and love.
Perhaps it can be said that, in this moment, my purpose is simply to strive. Maybe, for the time being, my seeking is my gift to the world. If I can serve as an example of caring enough to look, or as a shining beacon of hope, I would be satisfied with that. I know that I am capable of so much more, but–for now–I can accept that the answers and meaning are still forthcoming. The person I am yet to become is still in early-stage beta-testing.